Woke up this morning, sat down to play, Wanted to win, take your king away.
You pushed that pawn to e4, no delay, I thought to myself, "Sicilian today?"
But then I recalled, it's not all it's hyped to be,
The Sicilian Defense, not the path for me.
'Cause the Sicilian's crap, oh don't you see? Bishops trapped, nowhere to flee.
D6 and E6, what a misery, Locked up tight, they can't break free.
Some say it's aggressive, some say it's sound, But all I see are pieces, running around.
Your knights might jump, your pawns might advance, But those bishops behind, don’t stand a chance.
The game’s about freedom, coordination, and grace,
With the Sicilian, I feel I'm stuck in one place.
Oh, the Sicilian's crap, a sad decree, Pawns on D6, and on E6, just misery.
Bishops imprisoned, begging, "Let me be," In this defense, there's no guarantee.
I've tried the Dragon, the Accelerated too, The Scheveningen, and the Najdorf debut.
But no matter the line, or the path I choose, I feel like it's a game, I'm just set to lose.
There's beauty in chess, in each move and plan,
But the Sicilian feels, like a sinking quicksand.
Next time you push e5, or even c5, Think of those bishops, longing to be alive.
'Cause the Sicilian's crap, oh can't you see? Pawns on D6, and on E6, pure agony.
Bishops dreaming of the day they're set free, But for now, they're trapped, in that Sicilian spree.
So next time you play, and you're thinking of defense, Consider other paths, to make some recompense. For while the Sicilian, might have its fans and lore, I'll choose another way, where my pieces soar.
